Jenny’s Ap Blog

 I’m going to still make this.>.< Anyways, today was chill. We watching dream girls, I was on Tiktok though. It was boring ( I already seen it ) so I kept myself entertained with Tiktok. 

 Today, it was cold in the room we was testing in so I definitely didn’t put in 110%. It was pretty easy, but I don’t know too much about passing it😂 I was not in the testing mood. We didn’t do nothing all day, so it’s pretty chill.

 I had a informational essay. It was pretty easy. The way Mr. Rease was exaggerating essays, I thought it was going to harder than that. I actually think I did really good. I followed all the steps, thanks to him, and it was pretty good. 

 Today, we read the Rockpile. This story was about how a boy disobeyed his mother’s order but get babied by his biological father and causes a fight between the two. This story was a whole lot of mess. The father would of caught these hands when he threaten my baby, I don’t care if he’s not that boy biological father. He should still treat him as his own since he obviously accepted him in the family.

 The time I knew I was in trouble was when my mother let me sleep over a friends house for ONE night but i stayed for 3. The reason why I stayed for three was because she don’t let me do sleepovers so I have to live it up.

 We were going to the farmers market and I wore a crop top ( I could pull it down but it was still short ). What my mother didn’t tell me until last minute was I was going to an interview for my current job. My mother’s friend works there so I had an open interview without having to apply. I got the job though 🤪

 A gift that was not well received was a father’s day gift. My father doesn’t have no reactions with affection. He would give a “ oh wow “ and rarely a thank you. Lowkey be hurting my feelings but ok I guess.

 Something that was too big was my house oh my god. The amount of space I have to clean because the other people in my house barely clean. They always calling me to clean something and it’s so annoying omgg. 

 Something that doesn’t get better is the death of a loved one. You will always feel that loneliness when reminded of them. You only have memories of them. The pain of not seeing them anymore but having to “ have them in spirit “ is emotionally terrible. The lost of someone can also affect one physically and some people cannot recover fully from a lost. 

 

Today, we read “More Than a Walk in the Wilderness”. In this text, it tells about a couple that went on a hike on the PCT for fun but end up taking it serious and even into a career related achievement. 

 Today, we finished the essay portion of the benchmark. I did have a brain fart for a good ten minutes before I could actually think of something to finish the test. I finished my other constructed responses too. This was probably the easiest benchmark I have ever taken in my life, not to be dramatic. 

Today, we took a benchmark. It was pretty easy, everything wasn't so 'read between the lines' which was helpful. I left all but one of my constructed response for tomorrow, since we are taking the essay portion tomorrow. The test was kind of interrupted by someone's ignorance and lack of following directions but it didn't effect me. Today was pretty chill. We got progress reports today and mine were alright. I know which departments I need to work on so, I'll be good.

 Today, we reviewed a few things for the benchmark tomorrow. We officially start part 3, for the project, today. He walked us through the steps to find all ten sources for this part. He made Myriel try it herself as an example. We learned how to find an image source and citation. He made Natalya to do that as an example. He gave out homework, which is reading the prologue and this blog. 

 Dear future me,    I want to apology for all the sadness that you'll have to fix somehow. I'm sorry you'll have to sit and think about all the time you could of had a smile on your face. I'm sorry for the stupid decisions I made but I do not regret any of them. I'm sorry for all the crying that I have done but you'll look back on how strong you were for not giving up. i"m sorry for all the scars you'll have to heal. I'm sorry for all the times I sat and did nothing while I could of made your success arrive quicker. I'm sorry for all the doubting I have in myself. I'm sorry for all the bullying I aloud but it helped us grow. I'm sorry for a million more things but there is nothing I can do but apologize to you. I hope you're doing well, you got the job you've been dreaming about, the perfect man and big family you've always want, and I hope you are TRULY happy. I love you <3. Sincerely, Present Me 

Currently, I plan on getting a new job, having a deep talk with my parents, and getting my life together as best as I can at the moment. I need some money. That's as simple as it gets for me getting a job. I want to express my feelings to my parents, even if we have to argue since they suck at listening. For getting my life together, I just don't feel good or happy. Life is really hard for me outside of school and it's starting to hit me for real. All of this needs to happen soon or I might just cry.

 I think I have too much alone time. I love alone time but it gets boring and sad over awhile. Being alone for too long has my mind racing with different thoughts and plus there isn't mush to do. Too much alone time, especially not having no specific important thing ti do, is worst then alone time with procrastination. Alone time is very much appreciated but too much of it, for me, is too much!

 Staying home all day, knowing I could be having fun with my friends, is no fun. Sometimes, I would get a straight no for no reason. I've been told no because 'I said so'. In my opinion, that is valid enough on why I couldn't go to certain things with my friends. I'm not allowed to go to sleepovers, barely people birthday parties, or amusement parks with my friends. ( rolls eyes) Not being invited to events because we know already know the answer to it sucks. I still hold on to that grudge towards my parents and every time they tell me no to my requests, the grudge grows. 

 The time I knew me going to my friends house was over was when my father lost his old job. He is way stricter with outings than my mother. His old job was being a truck driver where he would be be doing truck stuff outside of state and wouldn't be home for a few weeks/months. When he lost that job, he got a new one in state and near home. He has a mentally of ' if my parents didn't let me do stuff like that, why should i let you?' This is one of the reasons why I always ask my mother to do stuff instead of himself because of his attitude towards stuff. If he wasn't so stuck up like that, he wouldn't have to hear my requests through my mother.

A question I wish I would have asked is 'why are you so paranoid?' This question is towards my parents, mainly my mother. I'm not aloud to go places really because of 'how the world is'. I can understand she's afraid of how the world is and want to protect be but it would still be the same when I get older. The places I request to go to and the people I want to go with are places we been and she knows their parents. This whole concept just confuses me and I don't approve.